Twenty Questions
by sdrawkcabemdaer5
Summary: Sherlock is bored, so John tries to distract him with a game of Twenty Questions. Just a bit of humor.


A little bit of humor written for a prompt on LJ. Because today is a really shitty Monday, and I needed something lighthearted to distract me.

John/Sherlock in a friendship or just-barely-pre-slash sense.

* * *

Twenty Questions. A game even a child could play.

John had thought Sherlock would enjoy it, since it would give him a chance to flex his intellect and show off a bit. And he was tired of his partner's continuous whining that there was nothing to do today. The rain had stranded them indoors and he was out of fresh experiments. His hideous violin playing was beginning to drive John up the wall, so he decided it was time for a distraction.

But Sherlock hadn't exactly reacted enthusiastically.

"Why would I want to play a silly game like that?" He was sprawled across the sofa in his dressing gown, as per usual when there was no case on.

"Well, because it's all about deduction. I thought you'd like that."

"It's not deduction, it's child's logic, John. It doesn't take a genius to make guesses."

John sighed."It's not just wild guessing, Sherlock, that's not the point." Sherlock was turning back to his violin so John made a desperate attempt. "What, you think you can't handle it?"

Sherlock scoffed, but his expression became sharper. John knew a challenge was the best way to pique his interest. "Me? Not be able to win a simple game? Alright, John, try your best." He settled himself comfortably on the couch.

John smirked."Good, then…Alright, yes, I've got it. Ask your first question."

"Is it Mycroft's umbrella?"

"What? How did you?"

"Obvious, John. Boring. Next." He waved his hand and flopped back down on the couch, disappointed.

"Sherlock, that isn't how you play the game. You can't just guess what it is right off the bat, you have to ask questions about it. You know, is it human, is it blue, that sort of stuff."

"That seems like an awful waste of time when I can just read the clues from your expression."

"…You cannot." John shifted uncomfortably.

"Of course I can. Would you like me to explain how?"

"No. Just…no. Look, let's try this again, alright. But you aren't allowed to look at me this time!"

"Well that seems unfair. Reading a suspect is a primary method of gaining information, after all."

"I'm not a suspect, Sherlock, it's a game! Now just play by the rules."

"Oh, fine." Sherlock shifted on the sofa, turning his back to John. "Are you ready yet? Are you doing it? Have you done it?"

"Yes, yes! Don't rush me, I've got it now. Go ahead."

"...Is it human?"

"No."

"Is it blue?"

"No."

"Is it the tea kettle?"

"What?"

"So it is?"

"How did you—again?"

Sherlock sighed dramatically, but John could see he was grinning. "You are so predictable, John. You choose objects we see on a daily basis. That narrows the field down considerably to the things that even an ordinary person like you would take note of. It really isn't hard to guess in what direction your mind is going."

John was a little affronted, but also a little fascinated. A feeling he was quite used to with Sherlock. "Fine, fine. Look, we'll try once more. Just _try_ to play by the rules this time?"

"I am playing by the rules, John, it's not my fault you are making it too easy."

"Right, my fault. Of course." John thought for a long moment. He was tired of being called an idiot, so he chose something he knew Sherlock was unlikely to even consider. He felt just a tiny bit cruel for doing it on purpose, but Sherlock surely deserved to be humbled a bit."Alright, I've got it. Go ahead."

"Is it human?"

"No."

"Is it animal?"

"No."

"Is it mineral?"

"No."

With the traditional categories exhausted he had to pause and think. "Is it manmade?"

"…no."

"Is it in this flat?"

"…Could be."

Sherlock turned round to look at him accusingly. "What kind of answer is that, John? You said yes or no answers, 'could be' is not a definitive answer. You are breaking the rules."

"Well, it's the best I've got, so you'll have to work with it. Continue."

Sherlock flopped back down with a disgruntled huff. "Fine. Is it natural?"

"Well, in a manner of speaking…"

"John!"

"Fine, fine, no, then, it's not, strictly."

"This is getting ridiculous."

"Oh, come on, you're enjoying this. You're too curious to stop now, admit it."

"…Fine. Is it material?"

"Mmm not quite."

"Is it something you can buy?"

"No, usually not."

"Is it found outdoors?"

"Sometimes, certainly. Oh, don't look at me like that, keep going."

"Is it a plant?"

"No."

Sherlock considered for a long moment, going over the facts so far. "Is it…an action?" That seemed one of the only categories left.

"Yes! Good, keep going. Nine questions left."

Sherlock settled into serious consideration now that he was on the right track, fingers steepled beneath his chin. "Does it occur between two people?"

"Yes."

"Is it violent?"

"Lord, no."

"Is it a chargeable offense?"

"What? No."

"Is it a specialized skill?"

"No, not really."

"Is it an action performed by children?"

"Sometimes, but," John added before Sherlock could give him another sharp glare, "generally not."

"Is it an everyday action?"

"Generally, yes."

"Is it a game?"

"Not really, no." John was starting to feel a bit giddy. Only two more questions left, and Sherlock didn't seem to be any closer to the mark.

"Is it an action associated with work?"

"No."

"Is it…" Sherlock paused to search carefully for the final clue which would bring this puzzle together. "Is it something I do?" If so that would make it easier to deduce, as he knew his own actions well.

John cocked his head. "Actually, I don't know. I suppose you have."

"What kind of answer is that? That doesn't count!"

"Oh, don't be a poor loser, Sherlock, you chose to ask it. Now that's twenty. If you can't guess it right now then I win." John couldn't help the smug smile on his face. It wasn't often he beat Sherlock at anything.

"This is ridiculous, John, what on Earth could it possibly be? I'm sure you have cheated in some way." He was examining John with suspicion.

"No, I haven't cheated. You just need to broaden your mind, is all."

"Oh, really? I need to broaden _my_ mind? That's a laugh. Tell me what the answer was then, if you are the genius here."

John had to stifle a chuckle. Fine, if Sherlock wanted to know then he would tell him.

John got up quickly and leaned over Sherlock, still sprawled on the couch. He gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and smiled mischievously.

"Try thinking outside the box, on occasion, Sherlock." He straightened and went to the kitchen, leaving Sherlock looking dumbfounded.

"What? What does that mean? A box? A box was the answer? No, that doesn't make sense. And why did you just—OH! Oh, wait, John, I've got it!"

John just smirked to himself as he prepared the tea.

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I hope you guys can guess what it was, or I will feel very stupid... XP


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